For Online Gamers
This section caters to the needs of those of you who spend countless hours or just your free time playing assorted internet games! Enjoy the section, and if you have any suggestions, feel free to drop them by me at [email protected]! The games will mostly be linked, though some might show up as the actual game.
Cool Games to Check Out
Puzzling War is found on Armor Games.
This game takes the simple ideas of Bejeweled and combines them into a battling game! Match up three or more people to dispatch your forces and defeat your enemy. The game is fairly short, thus making it perfect for those five minute gaming sessions.
This game takes the simple ideas of Bejeweled and combines them into a battling game! Match up three or more people to dispatch your forces and defeat your enemy. The game is fairly short, thus making it perfect for those five minute gaming sessions.
Amateur Surgeon opening screen
Warning: Not appropriate for all ages
Follow the adventures of pizza boy Alan "Amateur Surgeon" Probe and his instructor, Doctor Ignatius Bleed, in Adult Swim's hilarious, original game! The Amateur Surgeon game series includes Amateur Surgeon, Amateur Surgeon: Christmas Edition, and Amateur Surgeon 2. Throughout the games, you operate on unlucky individuals with tools including pixie dust, lighters, pizza cutters, carving knives, and even car batteries! This is one of my favorite games, as a side note. As stated, it is not suitable for all ages, and contains cartoon violence and cartoon blood, as well as some suggestive themes, possibly offensive language, and some... erm... revealing tank tops. All of the versions are also available as iPhone and iPad applications.
Follow the adventures of pizza boy Alan "Amateur Surgeon" Probe and his instructor, Doctor Ignatius Bleed, in Adult Swim's hilarious, original game! The Amateur Surgeon game series includes Amateur Surgeon, Amateur Surgeon: Christmas Edition, and Amateur Surgeon 2. Throughout the games, you operate on unlucky individuals with tools including pixie dust, lighters, pizza cutters, carving knives, and even car batteries! This is one of my favorite games, as a side note. As stated, it is not suitable for all ages, and contains cartoon violence and cartoon blood, as well as some suggestive themes, possibly offensive language, and some... erm... revealing tank tops. All of the versions are also available as iPhone and iPad applications.
Robot Unicorn Attack: Heavy Metal edition
Robot Uniicorn Attack: Original Version
Yet another brainchild of Adult Swim Games, this game comes in two flavors. The first is the Robot Unicorn Attack version, which is the original. The original is composed of purple and brown with rainbows, and you chase your 'dreams' whilst trying not to die. The second version is Robot Unicorn Attack: Heavy Metal, in which there is a more steampunk theme and within which you chase your 'demise'. Incredibly simple, and yet insanely addictive. A third version (Robot Unicorn Attack: Christmas Edition) is coming out, and is currently advertised on Adult Swim.
Achievement Unlocked: original game
The product of Armor Games, this game is also known as This is the Only Level. The Achievement Unlocked game is pretty strange, and consists of you seemingly locked in one room. Your goal is to unlock all the achievements and not drive yourself insane in the process. This is the Only Level Too is the sequel, hosted exclusively on the Armor Games website.
Viva Caligula opening/title screen
Warning: Not suitable for all ages due to violence, blood, gore, and blatant sexual themes (which are admittedly funny...) If you liked Viva Caligula, then you're sure to like the sequel: Viva Caligula in Hell!
Yet another suggestive, possibly controversial game from our friends at Adult Swim, Viva Caligula is a game in which you run around, kill the people that inhabit your Greek kingdom, and gain points and rage from doing so. It's insanely addictive, and the main goal is the find all of the weapons. Once you collect all the weapons, you get to enter the exclusive... erm... sexually explicit part of the game. But you know what? The sexual part is downright hilarious. Do not play if you are easily offended. The game also contains animated vital organs splattering everywhere. Just as a heads up.
Yet another suggestive, possibly controversial game from our friends at Adult Swim, Viva Caligula is a game in which you run around, kill the people that inhabit your Greek kingdom, and gain points and rage from doing so. It's insanely addictive, and the main goal is the find all of the weapons. Once you collect all the weapons, you get to enter the exclusive... erm... sexually explicit part of the game. But you know what? The sexual part is downright hilarious. Do not play if you are easily offended. The game also contains animated vital organs splattering everywhere. Just as a heads up.
In-game screenshot of Orphan Feast
Warning: Not suitable for all ages due to suggestive themes, cannibalism, and cartoon violence.
Another game from Adult Swim (you can tell I really hate those guys, can't you? Heh, sarcasm), Orphan Feast is a game which follows the short story of Tom. Tom is an old, ugly man, who wears raggedy clothes and runs around fleeing from overweight women trying to hug him to death, police, and law enforcement. Why is he so hated? He collects and imprison orphans. He also noms upon redheads. The game is rather short, but beautifully animated, and it has a deep story. How does it end? Hm, play and see. I beat it rather quickly.
Another game from Adult Swim (you can tell I really hate those guys, can't you? Heh, sarcasm), Orphan Feast is a game which follows the short story of Tom. Tom is an old, ugly man, who wears raggedy clothes and runs around fleeing from overweight women trying to hug him to death, police, and law enforcement. Why is he so hated? He collects and imprison orphans. He also noms upon redheads. The game is rather short, but beautifully animated, and it has a deep story. How does it end? Hm, play and see. I beat it rather quickly.
Fantasy Telemarketer opening/loading/title screen
Warning: Not suitable for all ages due to language and themes
Follow the story of three different telemarketers in Adult Swim's somewhat odd game, Fantasy Telemarketer. What's your goal? Well, in this somewhat slow but interesting game, you're a telemarketer! Yup, you talk to annoying people on the phone! Why!? Well... that part... I really do not know! But you select the appropriate responses to garner good sales. Um... just a warning... incorrect responses will either make the customer hang up, or severely drop your sales pitch, though the severe drop allows you to retry your pitch.
Follow the story of three different telemarketers in Adult Swim's somewhat odd game, Fantasy Telemarketer. What's your goal? Well, in this somewhat slow but interesting game, you're a telemarketer! Yup, you talk to annoying people on the phone! Why!? Well... that part... I really do not know! But you select the appropriate responses to garner good sales. Um... just a warning... incorrect responses will either make the customer hang up, or severely drop your sales pitch, though the severe drop allows you to retry your pitch.
Crush the Castle 2: Opening and loading screen
A line of games from Armor Games, this physics-based game involves launching assorted objects from a giant, medieval catapult in order to... well... destroy the castle. Oh, and while you're destroying the castle, you're also trying to kill the inhabitants! Yay! The game includes the original Crush the Castle, and Crush the Castle 2. In addition, both games include level editors! Thus, you can destroy castles you build, castles other people build, and castles the developers built! So much destruction in such tiny packages! An addition game, Crush the Castle: Players Pack is also available.
Pillage the Village main menu
Warning: Not suitable for all ages due to cartoon violence, blood, and basically the entire concept of the game
In Armor Game's Pillage the Village, your main goal is to do as the title so discreetly suggests! You toss villagers, houses, and ninjas around in order to earn money to purchase upgrades. Have fun torturing your victims! Why? Because the game offers immense ways to kill your targets, ranging from plain out throwing, to humane lethal injection, imprisonment and more!
In Armor Game's Pillage the Village, your main goal is to do as the title so discreetly suggests! You toss villagers, houses, and ninjas around in order to earn money to purchase upgrades. Have fun torturing your victims! Why? Because the game offers immense ways to kill your targets, ranging from plain out throwing, to humane lethal injection, imprisonment and more!
Corporation Inc gameplay screenshot
In Armor Game's addicting tycoon-based game, Corporation Inc, your goal is to build the biggest, baddest office building for your industry in the history is virtual offices! You can choose from a wide range of upgradeable structures, offices, and elevators. You can even add gyms and restaurants! You also have billions of little workers at your fingertips. It comes complete with addictive addictionness and built-in cheat codes! Enjoy!
Doodle God gameplay
Yet another creation of Armor Games, the Doodle God game features the goal of attempting to fashion a variety of things from just a small handful of starting blocks. Its predecessor and opposite, Doodle Devil follows this same path, though it focuses on negatives. This game features suggestive content, some sexual themes, and is not recommended for all ages! Overall, both are great games that really stretch your brain.
An in-game screenshot from the game Flight.
Distributed by Armor Games, Flight is an interesting game in which you control and upgrade, of all things, a paper airplane! You fly your way through France, Africa, Paris, and London on your way to Santa Clause in this new take on an action game. On your way, collect stars to make money which can later be exchanged for upgrades such as the ability to turn the stars into boosters, and the ability to get boosts from the paper cranes you collect throughout the levels. Oddly enough for a game on this list, this game is approved safe for all ages!
An in-game screenshot for The Last Stand.
Another Armor Games release, The Last Stand and The Last Stand 2 are both classical combinations of adventure and strategy. Shoot the crappitydoo out of some zombies while you also try and keep yourself alive! (If you get sick of being strategic, both games are also available on ArcadePreHacks.) This game is not suitable for all ages due to violence, copious amounts of gore, and scary images and sounds. However, the games are addictive, and what better way to take out your anger than to shoot out some zombie brains?
In-Game Sieger interface.
Another release by Armor Games, Sieger is a simple point-and-click game in which you do one of the things that humans seem to find fun by nature: blowing things up. you earn gold, silver, and bronze metals on all of the castles, and can even play and make your own levels with The People's Empire. Similar to games such as Destroy the Village, Siege Master, and the Destroy the Castle series, though without the catapult. This game relies on physics, and can lag a bit, but it's fun for everyone. This game contains small amounts of cartoon gore.
Test Pilot in-game interface.
Again from Armor Games, Test Pilot is a strategy-physics mix. You build you own craft, ranging from jets to whacky wheeled flying machines, and then try to fly them from start to finish without completely wrecking your craft. It's hard at times, but it's great for those who want to stretch their brain and have fun at the same time. The game itself is nicely animated, and highly addictive.
Wallace and Gromit: Wallace's Worksjop in-game interface.
From the BBC website, Wallace's Workshop is based off of Wallace and Gromit, the popular claymation series and movie. In this game, you put together whacky inventions to get the dummy Wallace into the exit tube, which completes the level. In addition, you must also use physics. So it's fun, addictive, and educational. It's great for all ages, and contains no violence or gore! Thank you BBC!
The Aurora menu screen
Aurora is a Pastel Games point-and-click adventure set in the strange land of Aurora. You're to find out where you are and why you are there in this game. Its amazing graphics and top-of-the-line style individualize it from the classic point-and-click and adventure games. This is approved for all ages.
